but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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