It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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