Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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