And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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