So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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