Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
