found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize