Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize