can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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