Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
