i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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