Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
