Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
