yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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