She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
