I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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