Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
