Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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