my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize