Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
