Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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