Screwed.edu
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
