We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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