careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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