I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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