Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize