I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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