Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
