is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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