i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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