I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I fill condoms, not promises.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize