Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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