I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
