from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
