end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
