The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
