Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm sobbing to NWA
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
