I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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