Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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