Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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