Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
