he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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