If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
