i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
