Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize