wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
