I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
