my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
