no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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