why didn't you poke me back
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
