That's intense
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
