Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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