He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
