Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
