Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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