she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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